


An enterprising officer

by aimeewrites



Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst and Romance, Angst with a Happy Ending, Crossover, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-16
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:01:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27593114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aimeewrites/pseuds/aimeewrites
Summary: We don't know much about Kathryn Janeway before Voyager - this starts when she was a Commander on the USS Enterprise, which in this story stands for the USS Billings, of which we know so little it might well yields its place to the Enterprise..Janeway decides to disobey orders... What ensues...
Relationships: Beverly Crusher/Kathryn Janeway
Comments: 16
Kudos: 36





	1. Chapter 1

« Welcome to the Enterprise, Commander – Captain Picard will see you in his ready room in one hour. I’ll show you to your quarters.”

The newly-promoted Lieutenant Commander Kathryn Janeway accepted the hand William Riker held out and shook it. They had been at the Academy at the same time but she had kept out of his path, as he reminded her too much of the boyfriend who had unceremoniously jilted her, Cheb Packer. Now, she and Riker were going to serve together on the Enterprise – actually, she was going to serve under him, as he was the First Officer. She was only on the Entreprise for a four-month science mission, where she would be cooperating with their science team to study a newly-discovered volcanic moon they had named Xenon-4 in the Beta Quadrant.

Janeway let William Riker conduct her to her quarters – bigger than what she had had on the Al-Batani as a very junior officer, and with everything she would need – a bed, a desk, a replicator… He asked her to have a drink later, an offer she declined – she wasn’t planning on socialising much. Even though she had been glad to go back to Starfleet and engage on the command track after her father’s and Justin’s deaths, she wasn’t completely back to her normal self. In fact, she hadn’t been in a small spacecraft since the accident and wasn’t sure how she would cope. The Enterprise, as big as a small city, would be , she hoped, big enough for her to disappear in the crowd. She would complete her mission and get back to Earth. No real challenges, no personal relationships.

Three-quarters of an hour later, she made her way to the captain’s ready room. She had heard a lot about Captain Jean-Luc Picard…As she stood at attention in front of his desk, she surveyed him – the youngest captain in Starfleet history. Twenty-two years at the helm of the Stargazer… He offered her a seat, a cup of Earl Grey, which she declined, fighting to keep her revulsion from her face – not only did she not like tea, but Earl Grey, with its bitter tang of bergamot, was a special kind of torture for her. He didn’t talk much, which led her to babble about her mission and how happy she was to be on such a fine ship. She was interrupted by a comcall calling Picard to the bridge, and was offered the opportunity to accompany him. It was, thankfully, a short way to the bridge, otherwise she would have gone on to make a complete fool of herself by her prattle, she thought later.

Two months later, Janeway felt almost settled on the Enterprise. True to what she had planned, she had not met many people and had kept herself to herself. She had had a few fascinating conversations with Data, who she considered non-threatening due to his android status, and had avoided most of the other officers. One in particular, Deanna Troi, had repeatedly invited her for a chat, but she had had enough counselling just after the accident – well, actually, she hadn’t really gone to all the scheduled sessions then either, as she had considered that being out and about with her dog Petunia was as therapeutic for her as psychobabble chit-chat… Anyway, she found plenty of excuses not to talk to Troi. The team which worked under her command was young, eager and exclusive. Of her, that is. Probably because she hadn’t really made any efforts to know them. But they were reaching their goal, and Janeway was itching to get to the moon and collect her data. After that, she would really be able to get on.

On their first day around Xenon-4, Janeway was up at dawn. Securing her hair in a tight bun, she gulped her first cup of coffee and almost sprinted to the lab. She was disappointed she wouldn’t be on the first exploratory mission on the moon, but she understood the need for the senior officer to say aboard and coordinated the away team from there. Once in the science lab, she gave such a brilliant smile to her team that Ensign John Cleves, Ensign Deborah Mann and Lieutenant Alina Galiachov couldn’t help but smile back. She saw them glance at each other almost worriedly and for a moment it dampened her enthusiasm. Did she give such a buttoned-up, strict image of herself that they thought her incapable of smiling?

Six hours later, not only was she not smiling anymore, but she was trying her best not to cry in front of her commanding officer, who was waiting for her to explain why one of the Xenon-4 volcanoes had erupted, severely wounding her away team. The two ensigns and the lieutenant were in sick bay, being treated for bad burns and smoke inhalation. Janeway had no idea what had happened, but she wasn’t about to say that to her captain. Therefore, she alternated between lengthy explanations of their research and silences, during which she bit her lower lip and wished herself anywhere but on the Entreprise. Not that Picard was unsympathetic. He did, however, want answers which she could not provide. When he finally dismissed her with orders to get some rest, she was indeed close to fainting from stress and exhaustion. She went by sick bay and was told by one of the nurses that they had had to put her team members into an induced coma to facilitate burn treatment. Unwilling to linger, Janeway went back to her quarters and called up the specifics of their research on her pad. How could they have missed that an eruption was about to happen? Had she miscalculated something? She must have, otherwise she wouldn’t have almost killed three people… She spent her night thinking and planning. There must be a way… She would not give up. She would not let them suffer for nothing. The survey had to be completed.

The next day, as she piloted the small shuttle towards the volcanic moon, Janeway tried not to think about the number of Starfleet regulations she had broken. She had “stolen” a shuttle – it had been surprisingly easy, and she had every intention of bringing it back, but still… She was alone on an away mission. She was, in fact, on an away mission which not only had not been sanctioned by the captain but contradicted a direct order – he had firmly told her that no moon was worth a human life, and they would have to find another way, like a non-manned probe, to conduct their survey. Moreover, she was putting her own life in danger… All in all, if she survived, she would find herself in very hot water.


	2. Chapter 2

Cold. Icy dampness penetrated her skin – and then, almost unbearable warmth engulfed her. Janeway shuddered without opening her eyes. Then, tentatively, she lifted her eyelids and tried to glance around her. All she could see was…Nothing.

“Please don’t try to move just yet, Commander. You still need to rest.”

She didn’t know the voice, but it was soothing. She closed her eyes again.

The next time, she surfaced enough to realise she was in a sickbay and to associate the voice to a blur.

“I’m Doctor Crusher and you’re in sickbay, Commander. You suffered third-degree burns on Xenon-4, serious lung damage and –“

“My eyes”, interrupted Janeway, “what happened to my eyes? I can’t see!”

“ – and the ash particles abraded your corneas I’m almost certain you’ll regain your sight, but I can only treat you with small doses of gamma radiations so it will take time.”

Janeway gulped, found her throat hurt and grasped the straw the doctor was handing to her with both hands. She drank a little and then moaned again as the liquid made its way along burned tissues.

“You’ve been very lucky, Commander – you had a very close call. Now please try to rest – I don’t want to sedate you again.”

The young woman had been extremely lucky indeed, reflected Beverley Crusher later, as she made her way to her quarters. From what she had been told about the circumstances, Kathryn Janeway should have died on Xenon-4 as another of the volcanoes had erupted unpredictably. Moreover, it was not her first near-death experience – accessing the medical files, Beverley had seen the record of the shuttle accident which had killed Kathryn’s father and her fiancée. The woman was like a cat – it seemed she had many lives, but wasn’t too concerned about keeping them. Very lucky, and very foolish – but also very brave. She would do her best for her. The milky skin would scar if she wasn’t very careful, and she would make sure those big blue eyes would see again.

A few days later, a worried Doctor Crusher came into Captain Picard’s quarters at dinner time, bring a covered dish. Her patient wasn’t doing very well. The three other crewmembers who had been wounded on Xenon-4 were out of danger and had in fact been discharged from sickbay. Kathryn Janeway, however, seemed to be getting worse. She had somehow become feverish and delirious. Beverley had called Deanna Troi to see if she could help, as the young woman’s anguish seemed to have a psychological component, but so far it wasn’t working. When Kathryn was awake, she was snappy and dismissive, even sometimes downright rude. Not the easiest patient.

“She’s terrified, Jean-Luc,” confessed Beverley to her dinner companion. “And I’m sure it’s keeping her from healing properly. She has nightmares, and… I’ve managed to get her fever down, but now she’s listless, and it’s obvious she’s terribly worried about something. Troi feels it too, but Commander Janeway refuses to talk. It’s as if she has… retreated into herself. The only times she speaks…Well, she isn’t very – amenable.”

“Should I come and see her?” replied Jean-Luc Picard, a frown appearing on his brow. He had liked the young officer, and although she had broken an almighty number of Starfleet rules, she had a maverick quality that appealed to him. Moreover, he didn’t like Beverley worried.

“I don’t think so, Jean-Luc. In fact…I think she’s scared of you.”

“Of me?” he said, lifting his eyebrows. “I don’t even know her very well!”

“Maybe not of you – but of what you can do to her. Her nightmares – her delirium – she talks – it’s all about being booted out of Starfleet, about disappointing everyone, betraying her father’s memory…”

“Oh, that. Well, I’m probably not going to congratulate her, but…”

“Give me a little more time with her. I’ll do what I can.”

Jean-Luc Picard lifted his glass to her and they drank.

Meanwhile, in sickbay, Janeway was lying on the biobed, eyes shut under her bandages but wide awake and sick with worry. She had until then mostly been the perfect officer – a goody-two-shoes, some had said at the academy. She had wanted to succeed – she had always wanted to make her father proud. And now, her career was probably down the drain. What was she going to do? And why was she so rude with the people who were trying to help her? The medical team had done nothing wrong…

*****

“Commander Janeway? Can you hear me?”

Janeway tried to nod but her head still hurt too much, so she murmured a feeble “yes”.

“We’re going to take away the bandages on your eyes. Then you can open your eyes slowly.”

Janeway felt her eyes being uncovered and eagerly lifted her eyelids. She saw a red-haired woman bending over her. As her eyes focused on her, the woman smiled and her whole face lit up. A tricorder was passed over Janeway’s face and the woman smiled again: “Wonderful! What do you say, Commander? Can you see?”

“Yes,” whispered Janeway, “yes, I can – thank you!” And her mouth, too, formed into a smile. Beverley thought that the younger woman, when not swathed in bandages or covered in burns, was really very pretty. She suppressed that thought and suggested her patient might want to get up. The offer was eagerly accepted and Beverley offered her arm to support Janeway. Janeway took a few steps and suddenly reached for her neck with her free hand. She frowned and patted the top of her head.

“Something wrong?” inquired Beverley.

“My – my hair ?”

“Oh – yes, I’m sorry, Commander – the pins had melted into it and we had to cut it very short. It’s already grown again with the stimulation, but it will take a few more weeks to get it to its prior length.”

“Small price to pay,” murmured Janeway. She tripped and Beverley grabbed her just in time to keep her from falling. She led her back to the biobed and helped her to sit on it.

“All right?” The doctor took her tricorder out and scanned Janeway, who had suddenly blushed and lowered her head.

“Yes – yes, I’m all right. I – I’d like to apologise, Doctor. I’ve been – well, I’m afraid I’ve been terribly rude to you and your team. It’s not – not like me. I’m sorry.”

Beverley smiled and her hand cupped Janeway’s chin: “You were – but we’ll get over it. Thank you for your apology.”

Dark blue eyes met sky blue eyes, and something passed between them. Janeway blushed harder. Beverley drew her hand back.

“You need a little more rest, Commander, but I’ll release you to your quarters. Please report here tomorrow at noon for a check-up, though. I’ll ask Ensign Janesfield to accompany you.”

Janeway smiled again: “That’s great news – not that I don’t like your company, but… I don’t like sickbays – nothing personal.”

Back in her quarters, Janeway changed out of her sickbay clothes and into her pyjamas. The doctor had given her a sleeping pill, but she had had enough of drugs. So she laid awake. When she finally got to sleep in the early morning hours, she had the nightmare again – how she was trapped and couldn’t save either her father or Justin. She hadn’t had it for some time, but it had come back after her accident. But this time, just as she was sinking in the ice along with them, a hand reached out and a woman appeared, dragging her out and hugging her to keep her warm. A woman with blue eyes, red hair and an electric blue lab coat.


	3. Chapter 3

“He is not going to kill you, Commander. I won’t let him – I haven’t patched you up for him to destroy my work.”

Janeway managed a weak smile at Beverley Crusher – she wasn’t really in a joking mood. She would have avoided sickbay altogether if part of her hadn’t wanted to see the red-haired woman again. Her debrief with Captain Picard was looming and she felt slightly sick.

Beverley saw that her former patient’s hands were shaking slightly and that her skin was almost translucent – she hoped Jean-Luc wouldn’t be too hard on Kathryn Janeway. She had impressed on him during breakfast the fact that the younger woman was still fragile and that any shock could set her back. He had nodded between two bites of croissant, and she hoped he would remember.

“Thank you, Doctor – I’ve got to go now.”

“Good luck, Commander.”

As she got to the captain’s ready room, Janeway took a deep breath and straightened her shoulders before she knocked at the door.

“Come!”

She came in and stood before Picard’s desk. He lifted his eyes from the document he was perusing and looked at her slowly, from head to toes.

“Feeling better, Janeway?”

She flushed: “Yes, Captain, thank you.”

“Care to explain yourself?”

“I wanted to finish the mission, Sir,” Janeway replied softly. “I couldn’t bear the thought that the team had been injured for nothing.”

“And that justified stealing a shuttle, disobeying a direct order and putting your own life at risk, Commander?”

She lowered her head: “No, Sir – I realise that now. I’m sorry.”

“What am I going to do with you, Janeway?” asked Picard sternly. “Do I really want to keep you on my ship? For that matter, do you really belong to Starfleet if you can’t obey orders and decide to go gallivanting around the galaxy?”

Janeway felt her cheeks burn, although she knew she couldn’t get any redder and cursed her fair complexion. She tried to read Captain Picard’s face but he was as blank as a sphinx.

He stood up and came to stand right in front of her, and she had to forced herself not to take a step back. The man irradiated strength and command, and although he wasn’t that much taller than herself, he dwarfed her.

“Kathryn Janeway, for disobeying a direct order, breaking a Starfleet rule, taking a shuttle without permission and putting your life at risk, I am sentencing you to fifteen days in the brig and demoting you to the rank of Ensign for the rest of your time on the Enterprise. Have you got anything to say?”

She swallowed hard and looked at him straight in the eyes: “No, Sir. Thank you.”

He reached out and detached her hard-earned pips from her collar, and she gulped again, praying she wouldn’t cry. Then Picard called for security and a few minutes later, Lieutenant Yar appeared in the ready room.

“Please take Ensign Janeway to the brig, Lieutenant. She is to serve fifteen days. And Janeway – “

“Sir?”

“I’ve seen your Academy records, and the reports of your previous postings. I believe you will be an asset to Starfleet, if you learn a little discipline. I’ll see you in fifteen days.”

Janeway mustered a small smile: “Thank you, Sir.” She knew full well that he could have had her court-martialled or sentenced her to a longer brig stretch. They had studied the various punishments in command school, and she had to admit Captain Picard had been lenient. In his place, she would probably have awarded the culprit a harder sentence. She was very lucky.

Several hours later, sitting in the brig, she wasn’t feeling so lucky anymore. In fact, as she tried to take deep regular breaths, she thought she would hyperventilate. She didn’t do well with closed spaces, and even thought she knew that on the other side of the force field there was a guard, she couldn’t see him, and the brig was really a very small, very closed space. Since she had been held by the Cardassians in a tiny cage, she had developed claustrophobia, and being unable to free herself from the remains of the shuttle when the accident had taken her father and Justin from her had done nothing to help. She closed her eyes and tried not to think about her situation, which of course only made her brain cogitate harder. She had been stupid, and now she had to take her medicine. Just like when she had gone to explore the quarries on Mars and her father had grounded her. Fifteen days would soon pass.

She tried to occupy her brain with calculations about everything from warp drive efficiency to the components of the volcanic planet, and finally fell into a fitful sleep.

****

Beverley Crusher winced.

“The brig and demotion? Don’t you think you could have been a little more – sympathetic ? A dressing-down would have done the trick, surely?”

Jean-Luc Picard looked at her across the table: “Beverley – you’re an officer. You know the rules.”

She frowned: “I’m first and foremost a doctor, Jean-Luc, and you know our motto is “do no harm” – I’m not sure Kathryn Janeway is well enough for such a sentence.”

“Well – you can go and see her in a few days, do a check-up. If that will satisfy you.”

Beverley smiled and he noted, not for the first time, that she could look remarkably like a cat faced with a full saucer of cream. “Thank you, Jean-Luc. I shall.” She generously omitted to tell him that as chief medical officer, she could have done that anyway, without his permission, and that she did not intend to wait “a few days”.

The next day, however, brought a catastrophic sequence of engineering failures, including a warpcore breach with dilithium leaks and toxic plasma emanations. The non-stop flux of casualties in sickbay left Beverley found herself unable to leave , even spending the night there to monitor the more at-risk cases. A niggling feeling at the back of her mind had been bothering her all day, however, and the next morning, after a quick cup of tea and a sonic shower, she hurried to the brig. When she saw the huddled shape on the floor, she swore and ordered the guard to lower the forcefield immediately. Janeway had curled up into a small shuddering ball in a corner of the cell and was whimpering softly. Instead of reaching for her tricorder, Beverley knelt down at her side and caressed her hair. The whimpering stopped, the shivering didn’t. Looking around the cell, the doctor saw that the replicator had delivered rations for the day before, but that none had been eaten. Her face settled in a grim mask before she returned her attention to the younger woman.

“Shh – it’s all right, Kathryn – you’re safe. You’re aboard the Enterprise. You’re safe”, she murmured in Janeway’s ear. She cursed Jean-Luc Picard in her head – when the young officer had been brought to sickbay after the accident on Xenon-4, Beverley had read her file, which included how she had been tortured by the Cardassians, and she knew Jean-Luc had had access to it too. The shivering almost stopped. Beverley reached out and took Janeway in her arms, kissing her on the brow. The younger woman buried her face in the doctor’s uniform and started to cry. Beverley held her closer and waited, stroking her back and murmuring soothing words. After a few minutes, Janeway subsided and just held tight to the other woman.

“All right”, said Beverley softly, “we’re getting out of here. Can you walk?”

Janeway nodded but got out of the embrace to face the doctor: “We can’t! I’m – I’m here. The captain…”

“Let me deal with the captain,” replied Beverley ferociously. “You’re not staying here – we’re going to your quarters.”

Janeway bit her lip but nodded again. Beverley stood up and held up her hand to Janeway, who stood up too, swayed a little and steadied herself with her other hand on the wall. The doctor took her arm and led her out of the brig, telling the guard that she would be responsible for his prisoner. Neither her tone nor her eyes left him able to object.


	4. Chapter 4

Beverley Crusher surveyed the young officer’s quarters with dismay. Sizeable, like most officers’ quarters on the Enterprise, but bare. In fact, if it wasn’t for a small pile of book near the bed, one would think they were empty. The doctor suddenly felt immensely sorry for Kathryn Janeway, and also very guilty. The young woman had been on the ship for more than two months and yet it seemed like no one had bothered to help her feel at home on the Enterprise. She should have done more. She hesitated only for a second before turning towards her charge: “We’re not staying here- we’re going to my quarters.” Janeway started to protest but Beverley hushed her with a finger on her lips.

Once in her own quarters, Beverley directed Janeway to the couch and the latter sat down without protest – after two days without eating, and not long after her recovery, she was feeling light-headed. Beverley went to the replicator and ordered, then brought the food and sat down beside her.

“Here – eat that. Doctor’s orders.”

Janeway was still too shaken to be really hungry but she obeyed and lifted the spoon to her lips. Chicken soup – it reminded her of when she was a child – being tucked into bed by her mother with a bowl of hot soup. It made her feel cared for. She was starting on the two boiled eggs and soldiers when the doctor’s com badge buzzed.

“Picard to Doctor Crusher.”

“Crusher here – what is it, Captain?”

“I’d like to speak to you in my ready room – now.”

“On my way.”

Beverley sighed and got up: “Finish your food and try to relax, all right? I won’t be long- do you want me to send for Troi?”

Janeway’s face made her laugh: “All right – I won’t.”

Beverley exited the room and made her way to the ready room, full of righteous indignation. She found Jean-Luc Picard behind his desk, sporting a frown. She supposed she couldn’t really blame them – after all, she had abducted his officer without telling him about it. She tried to look contrite – Jean-Luc rather liked it when women grovelled. She plopped down on a chair as Picard raised one eyebrow: “Anything to tell me?”

“I’m sorry, Jean-Luc,” she replied, aiming for a meek tone, “I couldn’t leave her there. She was- she was…” Remembering the state she had found the young officer in made her blood boil all over again and she took a deep breath to calm herself down. “Kathryn Janeway has claustrophobia. You’ll have to find another solution. You’re not a cruel man, and keeping her in the brig would be psychological torture. Anyway – I’m invoking CMO’s privileges and revoking your punishment.”

He sighed: “Why didn’t she tell me, Beverley?

“You’re her superior officer – from what I’ve see of her, she’s a very proud woman who hates to disappoint anyone and carries an overexaggerated sense of guilt. I think she would rather have made herself insane with fear inside there than tell you. She’s in my quarters now – she hasn’t eaten for two days, and probably not slept either. Take until tomorrow to think about it, will you, Jean-Luc?”

He nodded: “You can be worse than a Ferengi, you know? You remind me of my brother – when we were children, he always managed to talk himself out of a punishment. All right then. Until tomorrow. Good night, Beverley.”

“Good night, Jean-Luc.”

When she returned to her quarters, she found Kathryn Janeway at the same place she had left her. The bowl of soup was empty, though, and so were the eggshells and the plate. The young woman was sitting on the couch, arms around her knees. She lifted troubled blue eyes towards the doctor.

“Are you in trouble because of me?”

Beverley smiled at her. “I’m not. Let’s have dessert.”

The replicator produced two small bowls of dark chocolate mousse and the women savoured it in silence.

“I’ll have to go back,” said Janeway suddenly, letting her spoon drop in her empty bowl. “Thank you for rescuing me, Doctor, but…”

“Call me Beverley – and you’re not going anywhere, except to bed. I can give you a sedative, if you want, but you need to sleep. Do you want to go back to your quarters, or would you like to stay here?”

Janeway chewed on her lower lip, and finally said in a small voice: “Can I stay here? I’ll sleep on this couch, if it’s no bother. I… I don’t really want to be alone.”

“You can take the bed- I’ll sleep in the chair – loads of practice in med school.”

Janeway attempted to protest but let herself be led to the bed, stifling a huge yawn. She undressed to her top and underwear and slid under the cover while Beverley dimmed the lights. Feeling very safe, she fell asleep almost immediately. Beverley changed into pyjamas and took a book on 20th century Russian ballet companies with her to the armchair. She was drowsing off when she heard cries from the bedroom. Leaping to her feet, she found her guest still asleep but whimpering, the bedclothes in complete disarray. Beverley reached out to hug her, and Janeway opened her eyes. She blinked and blurted out: “I’m so sorry – did I wake you? I’m so sorry.”

“It’s all right, Kathryn – I wasn’t asleep. Nightmare?”

Janeway nodded. Beverley knew all about nightmares – her nights after the Arvada III disaster and after Jack’s deaths would have made great plots for horror holonovels. Janeway murmured something and Beverley had to make her repeat it.

“I’m so sorry, Doc- Beverley. I’m not usually like that, you know. I’m – I can take care of myself.” She suddenly grinned and her whole face lit up: “I’ve even been known to make errant crewmen shake in their shoes…”

“I’m sure you have,” replied Beverley, grinning too – Kathryn’s smile had that effect on people…

“Would you stay here with me?”, asked Janeway diffidently. “I mean – the bed is quite big, and you can’t be very comfortable in that armchair, and…”

Once more Beverley silenced her with a finger on her lips and slid under the cover beside her. After a few minutes, Janeway rolled on her side and fell asleep. Listening to her regular breathing, Beverley remained wide awake – what was really happening here? She hadn’t felt like that towards anyone since… Well, since Jack. The morning found the two women spooning in the middle of the double bed. Without waking Kathryn up, Beverley got up and went to get a cup of tea, which she brought back to bed and enjoyed while watching her companion sleep. She fervently hoped Jean-Luc had found a more humane solution. Otherwise she would have to pull out the big guns… Maybe a big syringe…He’d never been very fond of needles.


	5. Chapter 5

As she was tidying her hair, Janeway’s fingers brushed her collar and she sighed – she missed her pips… She would get them back in a short while, as they would land back on Earth in a week, but – it still rankled with her. Not that the captain had been unfair – she had more than deserved her demotion, especially since it was only temporary. Moreover, after Beverley had rescued her from the brig, Captain Picard had not insisted on her going back. He had put her on report and entered a formal reprimand on her record, and she had been sent to do deuterium maintenance and other menial tasks at times where she would rather have been lying in – like 0500 hours - but she hadn’t been confined anywhere, and for that she was extremely grateful. Right now, though, the butterflies in her stomach were dancing a merry jig, and she was feeling nervous. Even though she knew there was no reason to. No reason to scrutinise herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time either, or to re-apply her lipstick, or to straighten her already straight uniform. It was just Beverley. Janeway had invited the doctor for a drink in the Ten Forward to thank her for her rescue. They hadn’t seen each other much since then, but each time Janeway thought of their – admittedly agitated – night together, those butterflies appeared. She looked in her mirror one last time, suddenly made a face at it and hurried to the Ten Forward.

Beverley was already sitting at a table, listening to a string quartet playing – quite well – something which had probably been written by Beethoven. She smiled as she saw Janeway approaching. Beverley had shed her uniform and wore a low-cut cyan dress, her signature colour, which made Janeway both glance a bit lower than she should have and regret she had worn her own uniform.

“Drinks?”, she suggested, not sitting down.

“Drinks”, agreed Beverley. “I’ll have a gin and tonic, please.”

“Got it.”

Janeway returned a few minutes later with their drinks – G&T and a Virgin Venusian on the beach, as she didn’t like the taste of replicated alcohol – rattled by Guinan’s sotto voce remark. “Decide what you want, Ensign Janeway, and then you will know how to get it.” But then, that was the problem – she thought she knew what she wanted, but she wasn’t alone in the equation.

“So… Destroyed any alien parasite today?” she asked. Small talk was definitely not her forte – she hated talking about nothing interesting – and anyway, she found herself curiously tongue-tied whenever she was with the doctor.

Beverley replied sharply: “Not today, no. And let’s talk about something else – I’m off duty for a few hours, thank goodness.”

Janeway blushed: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

Beverley looked apologetic: “No – no need. I’m sorry too. It’s just that – we have a complicated case in sick bay right now. I thought he would be all right, but he had a relapse, and… Anyway, I didn’t mean to bite your head off. I can be – a bit outspoken. I mean – I’ve been known to scare dates away with my – bluntness.”

Janeway grinned, a little sadly, though: “Ditto. My – well, my first boyfriend told me I “delighted in pointing out his defects.”

“Ouch.”

“Indeed.”

“So – tell me about yourself, Kathryn. Except from your medical records, I don’t know much about you – what makes you tick?” replied Beverley.

“Hmm – well – obviously, I like science. I like music, too – mainly the old European composers,” answered Janeway as they both winced when a violinist hit a wrong note. “I like the mathematics in it I guess - did you know Bach was able to write in every key so successfully because mathematicians found new ways to calculate the 12th root of two? It’s related to the musical problem of dividing the octave into twelve equal intervals, which involves splitting sound waves into ratios rather than equal lengths.”

Beverley laughed: “You sound like Data!”

Janeway blushed again: “Sorry.”

Beverley took her hand over the table : “Stop apologising. I think it’s cute – and I asked. Do you play anything?”

Janeway shook her head: “Strangely enough, I don’t. I went to a traditional school and my parents insisted both my sister and I learn ballet, tennis and piano, but I hated the piano teacher – a mean old woman – and I simply refused to practice. So … They finally let me drop it – I regret it now, but I don’t really have time to learn anymore.”

The long fingers pressed consolingly on her hand. She looked into Beverley’s deep blue eyes. They looked suddenly sad.

“Your family sounds wonderful,” said Beverley quietly.

“Well – my father wasn’t home much – he was an Admiral, you know, and my sister could and still can be a pain sometimes, but – yes, we were pretty happy. What about you?”

Beverley’s eyes clouded: “My parents died when I was quite young and I was raised by my grand-mother – a lovely woman, but… It could be lonely at times.”

It was Janeway’s turn to stroke Beverley’s hand: “I’m so sorry – I – my father died recently and I still miss him every day. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for you.”

“I managed.”

Sensing that Beverley didn’t want to linger on the subject and remembering she had heard she had a son, Janeway changed the subject and asked about Wesley, which brought a smile to Beverley’s lips and many “do you remember” about their respective Academy days…

As Janeway was going to offer another drink, Beverley suggested they go back to her quarters, as the Ten Forward had filled up and the noise level around them was beginning to rise uncomfortably. Janeway nodded and they got up and left the room. Beverley didn’t let go of Janeway’s hand, though, until they arrived in her quarters.

They both kicked off their shoes and nestled on the big sofa, with hot chocolate and biscuits this time. Afterwards, they both wondered who had leant first, and whose lips had made the first move. But the kiss tasted of chocolate, and it was so good it lasted and brought another one…And another one. There was no question of Janeway returning to her quarters that night – they already knew the bed was large enough for two, especially in each other’s arms.


End file.
